[MadHatterBelial]

Боги, нет, я не могу. Стим принёс мне ЭТО и меня всё.

Вы просто вчитайтесь в эту прелесть!
Assume the role of a praying mantis in a relationship dilemma. Torn between their mutual love and the instinct to have sex – which could lead to the male mantis’s death – the couple is on the verge of making a decision.

А потом я нашёл этот отзыв и меня окончательно всё:
Charging people 5 dollars to play as a mantis in a 'game' which is essentially a chat box that lasts 10 minutes from beginning to the end, no gameplay no cutscene whatsoever, just you chatting with your partner mantis (by...typing) about whether to have sex or not. My goodness, 90 percent positive on Steam. 90 percent, fu.ck me. Am I insane? Am I the only one remaining in this world that refuse to praise these empty, pretentious 'interactive experience' that masquerade as 'games'?

Let's look at some top reviews/bs on Steam:
'It's a very good-looking game with such an heart-touching atmosphere and a beautiful story, it actually made me close to crying the first time I played it'
What 'heart-touching' story is there? Tell me. Is that the two mantis negotiating about sex? And that made you 'close to crying', did it? 'Good-looking game' .... Honestly, you must have just time travelled from the 90s to call this good-looking (not just technically, even the artstyle is bad and reptitive)
'This game is an original and interesting kind of niche dating sim'.
My lord, 'dating sim'. Real dating sim game developers will probably cry when they see you call this sh!te 'dating sim'
'I love the artwork. I felt emotional while playing it because the love between those two mantises are so real and they care for each other so very much'.
...If you like emotional, sentimental short story, I recommend going to a place, which is called a BOOKSTORE or AMAZON, where you will find ton of them that are of much higher quality than this 10-min garbage.
'The conversations in this game are deep and engaging, and the AI is actually fairly good at responding to you (as long as you play along with the premise)'
I will forgive this young reviewer because he is probably 8 years old, judging from the fact that he thinks the game is 'deep and engaging'. It's your typical cheesy, badly written conversation between couples that you see in these soap operas that are plaguing TV everywhere.

Я серьёзно не знаю, как на это реагировать. Потому что я поверю, что коротенькая визуалка на 40 минут может оставить кучу впечатлений, но разговор с ИИ?
*усиленно пытается выкинуть из головы богомолов в ролях Ромео и Джульетты*
*и вот тот мега-эпичный диалог из эроге, где:
- Я люблю тебя, но ты убиваешь людей!
- И я люблю тебя, но я убиваю людей...
- Я хочу быть с тобой, но ты убиваешь людей...
- И я хочу быть с тобой, но я убиваю людей... (и так далее ещё минут 15)*
Кхм. Короче цитируя персонажку из "Kara no Shoujo": "Никакой в вас романтики, детектив!".

@темы: позади планеты всей, убить всех человеков!, всё для понта, всё ради лулзов!, убей принцессу - спаси дракона!